Immigration

My name is Yohanna, and I am an American

Published February 06, 2009 @ 06:00AM PT

I am proud to say that somewhere in my teen years, I stopped trying to classify myself in a stereotype. I have always been somewhat different. I was born in the Philippines, and came to America at the age of four. I have lived in North Hollywood, Lake View Terrace, Aliso Viejo, La Jolla, and currently, in an upper-middle class conservative town. Every town has contributed to who I am today.

It was around the age of ten when I became aware of categories, and I was pressured to conform, but did not know how.  The move from Lake View Terrace to Aliso Viejo was an especially crucial time when I was figuring out where I belonged. It was while at Aliso Viejo, an upscale town, that I first encountered kids who grew up living lives different from mine. People asked me where I was from, and L.A. to them was the Hollywood they pictured in movies. North Hollywood is far from that picture. It is an immigrant community, where often, one finds families living together. I told them my cousins were my neighbors and we played together everyday, while my mom took care of my sister, me, and my cousins (seven children in total), all ranging from the ages of one to twelve years old. Thinking that this was the norm, I was surprised to hear their stories. So who did you play with while growing up, I would ask. Well, I was busy with ballet class, soccer, and piano lessons, most would answer.

Since then, I have realized that most of them have lived in suburban cities where nice, clean schools were available to them, and having pools in backyards was not uncommon. I was becoming aware of the term "privileged" and what that category meant. I saw that for the most part, it meant living in safe neighborhoods, having brand-named clothing, and having an excellent education available to them.

I moved back to Lake View Terrace after a year, just when I was about to start the sixth grade. Afraid of not finding friends and starting all over again when I was just becoming so close to my "privileged" friends, the question of who I was once again hit me.  I did realize that I was no longer surrounded by "privileged" kids, and that I was once again back with kids labeled in the "minorities", like myself. Still, I did not know myself. What did it mean that I was classified into the category of "minorities"?  According to this category, "minorities" are supposed to live and stay in immigrant communities, but didn't I just challenge this label by living in Aliso Viejo and acquainting myself with "privileged" kids?  What does that say about who I am?

For high school, I have moved to where I live today, an extremely conservative suburban town. Because I enjoy school, I took many AP classes, and once more I defied another category: the category of being an "AP student". According to this category, "AP students" were high-achieving, privileged students, who studied excessively, and had no time to relax. They were arrogant people who cared about nothing but their studies. Again, this is another classification I could not be imprisoned in, and I have seen other "AP students" fail to follow the qualifications of an AP student too (some of the most intelligent people I have known are also some of the most humble and modest people I have ever worked with. Some became my greatest friends too).

It is around the time of high school that I realized that categories and labels were nothing and meant nothing, because I have been finding myself challenging every label I have been given, and have seen other people do the same. I am an immigrant, but contrary from the qualifications of this category, I speak fluent English (and so do my parents), work hard, and wish to be a productive citizen of society. I am a "minority" that was not supposed to excel in school, but I am grateful to have received a decent education, and am motivated to pursue my dreams. I may not qualify into the category of being "privileged", but I have lived and currently live in suburbia, so what does being "privileged" mean?

Here are some other ways I deviate from the status quo: I am also a devout church-going Catholic that prays the rosary daily, but contrary to the belief that religious people are close-minded, I respect people's beliefs and am fascinated by other traditions. I am shy and introverted, but always ready to speak out about my views. I am meticulous and can be a perfectionist, but cannot live a day without taking a break to appreciate, love, and laugh in life. Chemistry is my passion, but I hate doing labs (because I am very clumsy and have broken a thermometer and spilled a beaker of solution before. I also very much dislike lighting Bunsen burners). I love kids, but would never want to be a stay-at-home mom (although I believe this is a very noble job; it's just not for me).

Just when I was happy to finally understand that I was uniquely only Yohanna and that no category can contain me, I found out that I was undocumented. Perhaps because I was in denial, and perhaps because I believe I am an American, I did not really know what it meant to be undocumented; I assumed it was another category I could rebel against. I went to UC San Diego for a while, but could not keep up with the payments without financial aid, without access to most scholarships, without being able to legally work, and without being able to take out my own loans. Appallingly, the category of being "undocumented" is all too true and existent, and I actually meet every one of its qualifications. Alas, a category has finally succeeded in capturing me.

Being "undocumented" means I cannot work, I cannot drive, I am not given enough resources to further my education, and I fear people will judge me on a status I could not control rather than my character. For the first time in my life, I cannot freely speak out about the injustice I am experiencing out of fear when I desperately want people to know about the struggles of an "undocumented", and the future to me is full of unfulfilled dreams that have no way of being fulfilled. This is what it means to be in the category of being "undocumented" and I wish to end this labeling.

I find myself going through another identity crisis. Who am I and do I really belong in a category? I do not believe in categorizing people as if we are playthings that belong in a box, so why I am tagged as an "undocumented"? What is containing my free spirit?  I come upon this question while searching for my identity: Am I American and what does it mean to be American? After many months trying to figure out who I was, I learned that being American is not a category-it is an identity that I embrace, because it is a word that all people who live in and love America can be called. Being American is a unifying nationality we can all be proud of, because whether you are an immigrant or born here, whether you are a conservative or a liberal, whether you live in New York or California, whether you are an idealist or a realist, whether you are rich or poor, whether you are religious or an atheist, whether you are a doctor or a lawyer, you can be called an American. Being an American means that we are free individuals and therefore, the lack of a nine-digit number should not rule my life. I have great faith in America that this will be true soon, because we have proved in the past that justice will prevail over injustice-it is an American trait. Being American means we have the right to speak out when something is immoral, which is why I support the DREAM Act. Being American means believing that every person is entitled to rise up from circumstances when one works hard. Being American means having the freedom to be a unique individual. I can be called Yohanna and an American, and never belong in a category trying to fulfill conditions-and that is the greatest aspect about being an American.

So what will the DREAM Act accomplish? It will prove that being American means believing in these ideals. Passing the DREAM Act will mean that we do not judge people by false labels and categories, but by one's true potential. It will mean that our sense of justice is real and that we as Americans truly believe that we are united even when we have our differences. That is something to celebrate; therefore I will always be a proud American. I ask myself again: who am I? My name is Yohanna, and I am an American.

Share this Post

Related Posts

Comments (22)

  1. Joel D.

    Sad to hear you're stranded in California without social security...do you at least have any documents from the Philippines? Is there any way you could "immigrate" as a refugee? If you can get a passport from the Filipino embassy or consulate then you could mail it to a US embassy or consulate in Mexico or Canada. Seems arbitrary and unfortunate that you be stuck without legal documentation. Unlike the other "categories" you've mentioned, your social, financial status or even where you reside in the US will not change your legal status. Good luck!

    Posted by Joel D. on 02/06/2009 @ 12:51PM PT

  2. Lisa Richofsky

    Well Joel,
    Yohanna has been here in this country since age four. She was brought here illegally by her family, but this is not her fault. How can she who was raised her whole life in the United States be sent back to the Philippines? If your child was in her situation, would you send her to a country she has no memory of? Maybe you should try to see through another persons eyes for once in your life. Her parents should have followed the legal route, but they didn't. That doesn't mean you punish the child for the rest of their life. God Bless you. I hope one day your blindness will be cured. I'll pray for you.

    Posted by Lisa Richofsky on 02/06/2009 @ 04:22PM PT

  3. Reply to thread
  4. Yes, you are American, Yohanna. Thank you for reminding us of how absurd and hurtful these labels and stereotypes are.  I don't think that any label could ever do justice to the sensitive and intelligent young woman that you are. You know, I think this essay could win a prize in a writing contest. You are incredibly insightful and articulate about what it means to be an American. Brilliant!

    Posted by a d on 02/06/2009 @ 05:55PM PT

  5. Kasuni Kotelawala

    You know eleanor roosevelt once said "No one can dictate who you choose to be" :) You are who you choose to be, Yohanna! You are a loving, intelligent, and really cool AMERICAN girl!

    Posted by Kasuni Kotelawala on 02/06/2009 @ 07:54PM PT

  6. Greg Plotkin

    Thanks so much for sharing your story.  It's powerful, thought provoking and profoundly honest.

    Posted by Greg Plotkin on 02/06/2009 @ 08:13PM PT

  7. George Vipond

    Wow, what a spin.... Does "undocumented" mean "illegal"?

    The "Dream Act" only allows people who have broke the law, entering this country, to move to the front of the line. In front of the people asking to enter this country the proper way. Imagine who you'd be in the Phillipines!

    Posted by George Vipond on 02/07/2009 @ 10:44AM PT

  8. Alex Shqipe

    um you dont move infront of the line, it actually takes about 10 years to become a citizen... oh and something else, you HAVE to be here for 5 years, so thats 15+ years with you in being in some type of probation.

    the cap set by the U.S government on how many people they should grant cases, its never met, its lower. and um talk about chain migration, someone that comes here legally and gets permanent resident right away, they can invite all their spouses and children right away.

    so George, i incourage people to come here legally, BUT this is about kids who know more about this country than you do. kids who didnt have the chance to choose weather come legally or not.

    and undocumented is not the same as illegal. IM undocumented since im living in this country under the color of law, i still get my ssn every year, my case is still pending; yet i dont have my papers (green card)... illegal is someone without any status here, perhaps kids that entered illagaly, came when they were young and their parents never changed their status.

    do your reseacrh, open your dictionary and come back again.

    Posted by Alex Shqipe on 02/07/2009 @ 11:09AM PT

  9. E F

    "um you dont move infront of the line"

    That's a very true statement because they never waited in line outside of the USA to begin with, assuming there is one from that particular country.

    Hopefully things will work out for her. But if they don't, she can use that free, taxpayer supported, K-12 education she got here to change her own country for the better.

    Posted by E F on 02/07/2009 @ 04:40PM PT

  10. Alex Shqipe

    again you dont get it... these young adults couldnt wait in the line to come here, because they came here without their will, they were kids, thats what the whole argument is about.

    wanna know what i paid for and still pay for? $30,000 to an American lawyer who saw me i needed help and exploited me. um reality check ding ding!!... dave probably knows this, its not in a lawyers interest to win your case right away, cause if they do, thats it; their done with you... BUT if they dont win your case at first, they know that theres tons of appeals down the road, $$$ poure your money out.

    people who take advantage of us because they know we cant sue or call the police on them. its disgusting....

    if you haven't lived it, dont talk.

    Posted by Alex Shqipe on 02/07/2009 @ 06:15PM PT

  11. Reply to thread
  12. Dave Bennion

    This is her own country.

    And immigrants pay taxes, too.

    Posted by Dave Bennion on 02/07/2009 @ 05:01PM PT

  13. George Vipond

    Alex, Stop blaming everyone else! Would'nt the parents be at fault for smuggling children into a foriegn country? Sure, they are trying to improve thier lives, but to break the law and cause these hardships on the children. Come'on....

    And Dave, illegal immigrants cost this country alot more money then the few that have taxes taken out of thier checks. And they are usually using someone else's S.S. number. Look at our current prison's. I grew up on the Mexican border and have seen these issues my intire life. Something has to be done to stop these tragedies from occuring. It would be nice if they just left on thier own and saved us the cost of rounding them up and shipping them to thier homeland. Our people might want those landscaping jobs, now?

    Posted by George Vipond on 02/08/2009 @ 09:46AM PT

  14. Y B

    Georee, please read this article I once read in my diversity class.

     http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20060602/news_lz1e2massey.html

     Immigrants, especially undocumented immigrants contribute more to the economy than take from it. Read this, and you'll learn that undocumented immigrants are exploited, and living in fear. Most don't take advantage of welfare, and public funds. That is a myth that only spreads fear and hate.

    Please tell me how I, as you have accused that "illegal immigrants cost this country a lot more money than the few taxes taken out of their checks", am costing this country. If anything, I think I have contributed more. I have contributed over a hundred hours of community service to the towns I have lived in, and trying to make positive change. How am I costing society?

    Actually, if the DREAM Act doesn't pass, we would be hurting America even more. With the economy so bad right now, we can't afford that. Give me a chance to follow my dreams, pursue education, pay taxes I will gladly pay, and contribute to the economy. The government has already invested in me by giving me a k-12 education. It would be such a waste if we don't open more doors to more people after k-12. Please Let me use my education, because you already invested in me!

    I am not looking for a way to get public funds, or free money. I don't care if I don't qualify for financial aid, or about grants but give me the chance to at least apply for a wider pool of scholarships that I would be able to apply for, if only I was born here. Give me a chance to take out my own student loans that I will pay back. Give me a chance to work so I can pay for my education. Give me a chance to give back to this country I call home.

    Posted by Y B on 02/08/2009 @ 03:04PM PT

  15. Janeth Herrera

    Mr. Vipond there is actually a number that undocumented people can use for their taxes but isn't a SSN. Its called a ITIN number...


    heres more info about it, you should read it. You'll be surprised how many people actually use it.http://www.irs.gov/individuals/article/0,,id=96287,00.html#what

    Posted by Janeth Herrera on 02/14/2009 @ 09:54AM PT

  16. Reply to thread
  17. Alex Shqipe

    George, this aint about the parents, neither its about those who use fake SSN. this aint about the ones in the prisons, neither its about those that take the landscaping jobs...

    dont call it smuggling, their parents brought them here for a better life, thats why people immigrate, thats y ur ancestors came here too. you got it the easy way. unfortunately it aint like that for everyone.

    the border has to be secure, y havent you done it?
    not everyone has the same legal means to coming here, i came from Europe, and i can tell you that people from South America have less legal options to immigrate here.

    as far as Americans wanting their landscaping jobs, they do, but at what price?... ive traveled to Arizona and Florida recently, i saw empty positions in restaurants and hotels. jobs are open, but dont expect them to pay you $25 an hour... (people are running a business, not a charity)

    this is about the Dream Act, about the children who had no options... in order for these kids to udjust their status, they had to have come here through inspection, plus having to be over 21 to udjust their status.

    some are leaving on their own, due to the harrasment, due to loss of jobs, due to many reasons... as far as ur tax money being spent, oh look at the statistics and see who uses up most of the welfare money, who "becomes of public charge" (also a dream act requirment)...

    its not an easy bill, read it... its not an Amnesty, its far more complicated than the 5 requirments you see in bold characters.

    all the detention centers across the U.S (including family detentions), they are privately owned, more people in jail, more money in the pockets of ritch governors who give an O.K for those jails to be built. its all about money; not security. businessmen spill mountains of money in order for those borders to stay open... no1 feeds you here, citizen or not; you better know how to survive.

    Posted by Alex Shqipe on 02/08/2009 @ 10:21AM PT

  18. Transitionland .

    When a child is born in the United States, the Red White and Blue fairy appears and blows magic, sparkly powder on her or his tiny head, and the child is forevermore American --all others are not, and cannot be.

    Posted by Transitionl... . on 02/10/2009 @ 06:14PM PT

  19. Y B

    So, naturalized citizens are not Americans, even though they are U.S. citizens? 

    Posted by Y B on 02/10/2009 @ 10:04PM PT

  20. Transitionland .

    I am being sarcastic. Of COURSE they are. My own sister was born outside the US. I'm just fed up with all of these comments telling Yohanna and Sayuri and Mohammed and the other DREAMers on this site that even though they feel American and grew up here, they just aren't, for reasons so nonsensical they might as well boil down to some kind of nationality fairy with magic dust.

    Posted by Transitionl... . on 02/11/2009 @ 08:18AM PT

  21. Reply to thread
  22. Alex Shqipe

    you are weird, did u miss ur doctor's apointment?

    Posted by Alex Shqipe on 02/10/2009 @ 06:45PM PT

  23. Janeth Herrera

    Yohanna, thank you for sharing your story. :)

    Posted by Janeth Herrera on 02/14/2009 @ 09:58AM PT

  24. I've said this before but I think it bears repeating:

    In my view, those who most deserve to be called Americans are the dreamers who are working against incredible odds to make something of themselves and their lives. These are the most inspiring Americans to me.  They don't waste precious hours of their lives making life miserable for others by heaping abuse on the most vulnerable. They are too busy working and going to school and helping out in their communities.  Their names are Yohanna, Alex, Sayuri, Isabel, Prerna, Mohammed, Blanka...and all the dreamers out there. To hear their stories is to learn something about courage and dignity. 

    So, let's stop with the politics of division and hate.  We need everyone here to pull together to make this country a better place.  The dreamers are paving the way because they are the future generation of leaders. If we love this country, we simply can't afford to let this generation fall through the cracks. So, let's give them a chance to succeed and develop to their full potential.  Please help them to turn their dreams into reality by lobbying Congress to pass the DREAM Act in 2009! Si, se puede!!

    Happy V-Day to all you dreamers! :-)

    Posted by a d on 02/14/2009 @ 04:10PM PT

  25. Reply to thread
  26. Alex Shqipe

    the only days i feel happy is on the weekends and holidays; thats when courts don't work :)

    happy Valentines Day to all the lovebirds :p

    Posted by Alex Shqipe on 02/14/2009 @ 04:16PM PT

  27. Ashley Sisson

    Yohanna, My name is Ashley Sisson and I am a senior at West Iredell High School in Statesville, NC. It may seem random that I am contacting you but I would like to tell you that I'm doing my senior project on Lack of Higher Education Opportunities for Illegal Immigrants. Your story inspired me to read more about the DREAM Act and what it can do for "undocumented youth". My stepfather and boyfriend are illegal and I see their struggles every day.I myself am an American born teen but sometimes I wish I could hand over my legal status.Anyway, I used your story in my research paper as well as my speech as supporting evidence. I was wondering if I could have a photo of you to use as my powerpoint for the project will open with your story. 
    I would appreciate your compliance with my request. If you would like to share a photo with me please contact me at my email address. asisson101@yahoo.com

    Here is how the speech begins if you are interested:This is Yohanna. She is one of them many undocumented youth who has chosen to share her story with change.org, a website which promotes various causes. Her country of origin is the Philippines but her current residence is the United States of America; the land of opportunity for everyone except her and the people who share her legal status. Yohanna commented on being illegal saying, “Alas, a category has finally succeeded in capturing me. Being undocumented means I cannot work, I cannot drive, I am not given enough resources to further my education, and I fear people will judge me on a status I could not control rather than my character. For the first time in my life, I cannot freely speak out about the injustice I am experiencing out of fear when I desperately want people to know about the struggles of an “undocumented”, and the future to me is full of unfulfilled dreams that have no way of being fulfilled."

    Posted by Ashley Sisson on 05/18/2009 @ 02:26PM PT

Add a Comment

For your comment to be published, you will need to confirm your email address after submitting your comment.

If you already have an account, click here to log in.

Comments on Change.org are meant for further exploration and evaluation of the ideas covered in the posts. To that end, we welcome constructive comments. However, we reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive, abusive, or off-topic; that contain ad hominem attacks; or that are designed to subvert or hijack comment threads rather than contribute to them. Repeat offenders may be permanently removed from the site at our discretion.

close

This user's Profile page is not public. They have restricted it to only their friends.

Already a Member?

Create an Account

You must create a Change.org account to complete this action.
If you already have an account click here.