As TSA is to Holiday Travelers, ICE is to _________

Published December 09, 2008 @ 08:48PM PT

Thoreau at Unqualified Offerings has something of a vendetta going against the public servants at the Transportation Security Administration.

Perhaps it's because of TSA agents' ongoing struggle to distinguish terrorist masterminds from ... 5 year old children. And to confiscate our bottles of Poland Spring before we turn them, evil MacGyver style, into neutron bombs.

Add a dash of the ineptitude endemic to federal bureaucracy, and you've got a recipe for "shenanigans," also known as "harassment," or alternatively, "profiling."

Thoreau directs us to Cracked's 7 Dumbest Things Ever Done by Airport Security, wherein we realize that mindless harassment does little to improve travel safety.

# 5 on the list:

TSA employees pulled Matthew Gardner out of the line because somebody with that name showed up on a federal Most Wanted list.

Matthew is five.

Agents searched the belongings of both Matthew and his mom. When the mother went to comfort the upset child, she was told to back away. Because, you know, it totally says right here on the screen he like shot six dudes at a bank in Reno.

But, hey, we've heard of little kid suicide bombers before, right? It could happen. And really, can you ever be too careful?

To Make Things Worse...

Yes, yes you can. For instance, if you not only stop an infant in line, but you stop an infant from flying because, again, he shows up on the no-fly list.

Parents have gotten repeatedly held up (or missed flights completely) waiting to get passports and other documentation faxed in to prove their one-year-old wasn't a little terrorist mastermind.

Read the whole list for a chuckle, but then understand that TSA is an agency of the Department of Homeland Security, which applies its motto of "No Punitive Measure Too Absurd" to every immigrant within its reach, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Imagine brigades of TSA workers roaming free, with the sole objective of locking you up and deporting you. That is the reality of immigrant life in America today. (You don't even have to be undocumented-if there's any doubt about your status, DHS will do its best to give you the boot.)

It's no laughing matter.

(Post title in honor of DreamActivist's recent LSAT conquest.)

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David is an attorney in Philadelphia, PA, where he helps immigrants to the U.S. navigate the complex immigration legal system. Views he expresses at change.org are his alone and don't represent the views or opinions of his employer, Nationalities Service Center. The information contained on this site is intended for educational and advocacy purposes only.